Ah, golly gee shucks, y’all, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to read anymore of these dang ole crazy vampire books because I felt stupider and stupider with each page – heeyuck! It turns out Miss Charlaine Harris’s original version of Sookie Stackhouse is the vainest, most idiotic, gullible, and frustrating characters I have come across in a long time. In times of peril and near death, she doesn’t become upset until she discovers – oh shit, y’all, *gasp* my hair is disheveled and my make-up is smudged! Never mind the carnage and various body parts strewn about your pretty little feet, Sookie; you just take some time to cry over your appearance and I’m sure Bill will come to your aid. You know, after he rapes you of course. And be sure to just lie back and take it because he’s not going to stop or let up even if you ask oh-so-sweetly, darlin’. But yeah, you’re right, he’s doing it all out of his love for you. Riiiiiight.
Long story short, if you’re at all interested in this series, I highly recommend that you just completely bypass the books and go straight for the True Blood television series adaptation. Don’t even try to look at or read the books because they are retarded and annoying and if you have already watched the TV version it will be extremely disappointing. Lafayette is killed from the start (not really a spoiler since it happens at the beginning of this book), Tara is a ditzy, partying nimrod (the complete opposite of her TV persona), and Sookie is just a dumbass. The plot is still somewhat exciting when it’s not focusing on how stupid the characters are, but I’m just going to wait until I can get my hands on the DVDs rather than waste another minute on these books. I think this is the first time I’ve ever thought a movie/TV version is better than the book – very sad indeed.